12: A person from Havre. The license plate number for everyone in Hill County begins with the digits 1 and 2. If you are from Blaine County your license plate number would begin with 24, in Chouteau County it would be 19, Meagher County 47, Cascade County 8, and so on.

A Buck Ninety Eight: Montana slang for “expensive.”

Absaroka: In 1939 a group of business and political leaders tried to break of parts of Montana, Wyoming, and North Dakota to form a new state, which would have been called Absaroka. Also the name of a mountain range that runs between Montana and Wyoming.

Bear Paw Mountains: Also known as the Bears Paw and Bear Paw’s; the Bear Paw Mountains are a small mountain range surrounded by the grassy plains. They are only 10 miles south of Havre and its tallest mountain is Baldy Mountain, which rises almost 7,000 ft. above sea level.

Better-Than-Sex Cake: A favorite home-made dessert recipe in Montana, which largely consists of chocolate, toffee, hot fudge, condensed milk, and whipped cream. And trust me, it is not better than sex. Clearly a woman came up with the recipe and the name.

Barrow Pit: A long, narrow excavation made in the ground by digging; known everywhere else as a ‘ditch’.

Breaks: An area flanking the Missouri River characterized by badlands, rock outcroppings, and steep bluffs. Many locals will warn you not to get “caught in the Breaks” during a July rain storm. I have yet to understand why, but have heeded their advice nonetheless.

Butte: A hill that rises abruptly from the surrounding area and has sloping sides and a flat top. It is also the name of a city in southwest Montana.

Cady: A hat.

Caesar: A cocktail created (and primarily consumed) in Canada. It is also popular along the northern rim of Montana. It contains vodka, clamato juice, Worcestershire sauce, and Tabasco sauce. It is commonly served with ice in a large, celery salt-rimmed glass, and typically garnished with a stalk of celery and wedge of lime.

Cadywompus: Screwed up, out or line, off kilter, and/or twisted beyond recognition.

Chinook: Havre’s neighboring town to the east. Also the name given to a wind or weather system where warm winds from the southwest meet the Rocky mountains and then blow across the plains. A strong Chinook is said to cause a foot or more of snow to vanish in a day. Loosely translated, the word means “snow eater.”

Coulee: A deep ravine or gulch, which is usually dry, bus was formed by running water. Oh the irony.

Crick: The Montanan word for a small stream, or creek.

Crow Bait: A horse in very bad condition.

Ditch: The word “ditch” is used when ordering a drink with water. It means “with water.”  When you order “Jack Daniel’s ditch” you will receive a glass of Jack Daniel’s with water.” This is not a joke. All you have to do is order a “Jack ditch.”

Dogie: A motherless, or wild, calf.

Eight Throttle: To go very fast.

Electric City: Great Falls is called The Electric City because of its many hydroelectric power plants on the banks of the Missouri River.

End of the Oil: The end of paved road where the gravel road begins. And there are many more miles of gravel road here in Montana than paved road.

Family Reunion: A town meeting.

Frybread: Also known as bannock or fried bread, frybread is a Native American flat dough that is deep-fried in oil, shortening, or lard. It is commonly served at festivals and special occasions.

Goat: A pronghorn antelope, which is technically neither a goat or an antelope. It is also called a “speed goat.”

Going to the Sun Road: The name of the 53-mile long road that crosses Glacier National Park and travels over the Continental Divide at Logan Pass. It is also considered one of the most difficult roads to snowplow in the country with drifts up to 80-feet deep in some places.

Good Bucker: A rodeo term for a bucking bull or horse admired by the contestants and fans. One must be especially careful when uttering these words in public, however, so they are not confused with a more vulgar term.

Gopher: A small, burrowing animal native to the short grass prairies of Montana. They are disliked by most ranchers and farmers who try in vain to poison and shoot as many as they can. The Montana gopher is really a Richardson ground squirrel, but no one has the heart to tell the locals.

Havre: A city located in north central Montana. It is said to be named after the city of Le Havre in France. According to the latest census Havre has a population of approximately 9,600 people. It is also the location of my base camp. Havre is pronounced “havv-er” (rhymes with cadaver). It is not pronounced “harve,” as in Brett Favre.

Hi-Line: A geographical term referring to the portion of northern Montana just south of the Canadian border along which runs the main line of the BNSF Railway (originally the Great Northern Railway) and U.S. Highway 2. Havre is considered by many to be the center of the Hi-Line.

High Centered: To be drunk.

Highway 2: U.S. Highway 2; an east–west route, which spans 2,579 miles across the northern United States. In Montana Highway 2 is a vital northern corridor. The road spans 664 miles through Montana, including some of the most beautiful land in the state.

Hooker: A rodeo term for a bucking bull who throws his rider forward so he can hook him with his horns. The adjective “hooky” also applies.

Hooter: A nickname given to a member of a Hutterite Colony. Hutterites, like Amish and Mennonites, believe in communal living and absolute pacifism. It is common to see Hutterites selling vegetables and bread at a Montana farmers market.

Jerky: A wagon without springs.

Jockey Box: A glove compartment box.

Last Best Hiding Place: Locals in Montana call it “the last best hiding place.” The phrase originated when Ted Kaczynski, otherwise known as the Unabomber, was captured in a remote cabin outside of Lincoln, Montana. Other convicts and escapees have also fled to hide in Montana, too.

Mint: Arguably the most common name for a tavern in Montana. Almost every town has a Mint. Other popular names include VFW, Stockman’s, and Horseshoe.

Montana Shoeshine: What you get when you step in a pile of cow shit.

Montanabahn: Interstate 94 in Montana. In daylight the speed limit is 75 mph, but reportedly drivers will reach insane speeds all of the time. Drivers are urged to use “prudent” judgment, but many drive as fast as they want.

Montanada: The miles and miles of desolate landscape along the northern Montana and southern Canadian border.

Moose Drool: A locally brewed beer made by Big Sky Brewery in Missoula, Montana. It is to Montana what Spotted Cow is to Wisconsin.

Neckerchief: A triangular or rectangular piece of cloth folded into a triangle and worn around the neck by ranchers and cowboys in Montana. Not to be confused with an ascot.

Old Baldy: Another name for Baldy Mountain, which rises 6,916 ft. above sea level and is the highest peak in the Bear Paw Mountain range.

Outfit: A pick-up truck.

Pronto Pup: A corn dog made with a bright red Rocky Mountain hot dog served at the Hill County Fair. Do not call them a corn dog in front some locals, though. Many believe Pronto Pups hold a secret power…despite the fact they taste like any other generic corn dog.

Prune Picker: Someone from California.

Radar Range: A microwave oven.

Rattler: A rattlesnake.

Sagebrush Men: Cowboys who work in arid regions of Montana and Wyoming.

Sixty-Niner: A Montana gold rusher.

Slow Elk: A cow.

Snooce: Montana slang for chewing tobacco.

Spud Muncher: Someone from Idaho.

Spendy: The Montanan word for “expensive” or “pricey.”

Sweet Grass Hills: A formation of three distinct buttes that rise up out of the grassy plains just east of Havre and just south of the Canadian border. Despite its name, to the best of anyone’s knowledge, marijuana is not grown there.

That’ll Ride’em: It literally means, “That will work.”

Two Bits: A quarter of a dollar (25 cents)–or $25 dollars.

V8 Sneak: To hunt with a pick-up truck; sneaking up on pronghorn or deer while inside your pick-up truck.

Weasels: Another word for M&M candies. Such as, “Please put some weasels on my ice cream.”

Wranglers: Something you wear to prom.

You Betcha: A phrase commonly heard in Montana, which can mean (1) yes, (2) I agree, (3) you’re wrong, but I won’t embarrass you by telling you’re wrong, and (4) I didn’t hear what you were saying but I will respond nonetheless.