
A wild weed braves the cold in pasture outside of Blanchardville, Wisconsin.
Late at night while driving I often find myself tuning the AM dial to help keep me awake. Scratchy AM signals seem better suited to keeping my eye lids open in the wee hours of the morning. Then again, I think anyone would fall asleep while listening to Barry Manilow and The Carpenters; music that often graces early morning airwaves on the other band.
One of the hallmarks of early morning AM radio is a syndicated show called Coast to Coast AM. Every night host George Noory covers a wide range of peculiar subjects including the occult, UFOs, intricate government conspiracies, and other equally strange topics. More than anything Coast to Coast AM is good for a laugh. The crazier the guests, the better I keep my car on the road.
The 16th century prophet Nostradamus is another common topic of conversation. Nostradamus is famous for publishing a collection of prophecies, which are said to have predicted such historic events as the French Revolution, rise and fall of Napoleon Bonaparte and Adolf Hitler, the Great London Fire, both world wars, and the Apollo moon landing. All you need is an active imagination, a bit of retroactive clairvoyance, and squinted eyes and you too may draw similar conclusions when reading his works.
But why should Nostradamus and the kooks on Coast to Coast AM have all the fun? With a new decade in front of me I thought it would be fun to look deep into a crystal ball to see how clairvoyant I can be.
So, with the help of a trusty Magic 8-Ball I have carried with me from job-to-job over the years and a hat crafted from the finest aluminum foil, I give you my prophecies and predictions for the next ten years:
1.) The recession will continue for another four to five years. Soon everyone will call it “The Great Recession.” Unemployment will hover between 8 and 10%, but eventually the recession will ease, mostly with the help of prospering small businesses. MOST LIKELY.
2.) The U.S. will experience a grassroots revolution with an emphasis on frugality, minimalism, and self-reliance. Both the public and private sectors will focus on creating, manufacturing, selling, and buying locally; not globally. YES.
3.) By its own choosing, the U.S. will become much more isolated from the rest of the world, but will still compete with China economically and politically. China may also unsuccessfully attempt to reunify with Taiwan, but I’m not 100% certain of that. REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.
4.) The public will learn Osama Bin Laden was captured years ago. Fearing the spectacle of a public trial and/or turning him into a martyr by executing him, the U.S. will stuff him into a super-secret, heavily guarded “hole” in some far away place where he slowly grows old and dies from kidney failure. AS I SEE IT, YES.
5.) Large office buildings will become a relic of the past. Companies will reorganize and nonessential employees, a large percentage of the American workforce, will work from home. Businesses will no longer invest in expensive office buildings, employees will no longer need to commute to work, and the government will need to build fewer roads. A bubble in the commercial real estate market will stagnate the world economy even further. YES, DEFINITELY.
6.) Concern over global warming will ease as attention will turn toward repairing the damaged world economy. Scientists will reveal the Earth’s increase in temperature was a result of normal cyclical behavior and gamma rays emitting from deep space. Our economy will move away from its dependency on oil nonetheless and we will slowly convert to alternative fuels. A worldwide shortage of fresh water will become the new cause célèbre during the 2010s. IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
7.) Before the end of the decade, the U.S. will find relative peace with much of the Middle East as the democratic movement in Iran gains traction and a new Iraq succeeds with much U.S. involvement. The U.S. will also renew diplomatic ties with Iran. MY REPLY IS YES.
8.) Chrysler Corporation will fail, General Motors will become a shell of its former self, but Ford Motor Corporation will survive the current crisis in the automotive industry and largely prosper. The U.S. will lead the world in the production of high-tech components used in all automobiles, including fuel cells, advanced navigation systems, and electronics. MY SOURCES SAY YES.
9.) Newspapers will die. Periodicals covering niche topics, smaller rural newspapers, the Sunday newspaper, and magazines all have a fighting chance, but for the most part the daily broadsheet will vanish from the landscape of America. OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD for the newspaper industry.
10.) Also disappearing in the 20th century? Fax machines, telephone directories printed on paper, catalogs, compact discs, landline phones, answering machines, stereo or computer components requiring wires, and the television as we know it today. WITHOUT A DOUBT.
11.) The United States Postal Service (USPS) is doomed. No, it will not go away completely, but it will lose much more money than it takes in. Will the U.S. government do the right thing and sell it to FedEx or UPS before it is too late? DON’T COUNT ON IT.
12.) The Green Bay Packers will defeat the Houston Texans in Super Bowl LII. It will be the Packers’ fourth Super Bowl victory and their 13th NFL championship. Green Bay Packers wide receiver Terrance Toliver will be named MVP. The Packers will return to the Super Bowl again in 2019 (the 100th anniversary of the Packers), but lose to the Los Angeles Jaguars in Super Bowl LIV. IT IS CERTAIN.
13.) Pete Carmichael, Jr. will be named the Green Bay Packers head coach and his offensive coordinator will be a man named Joe Lombardi; the grandson of legendary Packers head coach Vince Lombardi. OUTLOOK GOOD.
14.) Brett Favre’s jersey will be retired in 2014 during an awkward ceremony at Lambeau Field. He will return again in 2016 after being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but Favre will not return to Green Bay again for many years thereafter. SIGNS POINT TO YES.
15.) A major seismic or volcanic event will occur in the American northwest and yours truly will be there to photograph it. YOU MAY RELY ON IT.
Coast to Coast AMCoast to Coast AM
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